remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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