You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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