And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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