Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
