I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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