How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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