it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize