my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
