im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize