I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
