yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
third nipple confirmed
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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