somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
