you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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