Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
