I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
