You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
