She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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