Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
