as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
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She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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