You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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