I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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