i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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