she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
