And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
