is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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