you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
