wanna go halves on a baby?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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