Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
