If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
