never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
