fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
