We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
