Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
