holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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