i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
