so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
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I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
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im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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