Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Will exercising make me less horny?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
