Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How external is "for external use only"?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
