Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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