I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
