Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
