Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
