Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
