But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
