just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
