Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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