it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
