i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
