I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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