I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
