TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
