the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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