her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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