Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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