Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
