All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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