My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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