Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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