You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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