So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
