Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
