I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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