Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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