If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
